Heartaches

I think i've got to settle my heart a little bit. 


Things are coming back after rounds and rounds, eventually, "it" hasn't give up and came back. 


To me, God first, next family. 


It was really a huge disappointment for us. The 3 of us gave her a chance and she literally took it for granted. It will hurt our heart. The day before the court, i had a nightmare, i dreamt that she aborted her baby, and went back to her past. I remembered the dream vividly, it was so real, so real that i cried. 


I told God: "Lord, i pray with all my heart, mind and soul, she will change. Please give her another chance, please prove that she can do it. I pray that she will never go back to her past, for You are the future." 


Indeed, for the past few months, she finally displayed the love of a mom. All of us were getting along well and things went smoothly. We went for dinner, send her for check ups, went to visit my grandmom together. 


But i guess, our hearts turned into rocks towards her now. It really hurts so bad for us. Sometimes, when i think about that, tears flowed. 


Right now, she wanna play tricks with my dad and us. Oh well, God sees. 


I wanna continue to pray for her, for i know God loves her. I also wanna pray for my sisters and I. All of us know that its not easy, but when tough times come, its for the tough man/woman! We are going to come out strong. 


I thank God for my sisters and friends around us, always there to support and listen. Especially Dear, he dotes my sisters so much, behave like a big brother towards them. He is always there for us. 


I thank God for Holy Spirit. When i was in the Bible School, i remember Pst Ming always told us, Don't you forget to give thanks to Holy Spirit too. There are too many of us who always forgotten about the Holy Spirit, it's Him who give us the wisdom and reminders! 


Thank You God, J & Holy Spirit. The 3 pillars of my spiritual walk.